Hello! Happy Sunday! ☀️
Main points:
Having many obstacles in life is inevitable. However, being one of them is not.
We must engage in reflective practice often to identify our self-limitations.
Our negative self-beliefs, emotional insecurities, and fear of rejection are concepts that can and must be eradicated.
After spending a lot of my 20’s holding myself back, I really wanted to find a way to help others avoid wasting their energy. So with some proper introspection, I realized that we often limit ourselves because of three common constructs. I've decided to call them the self-limiting triad.
In this newsletter, I’ll introduce the self-limiting triad and why I believe eradicating these 3 constructs is absolutely essential for us to feel better and achieve more. I’ll go deeper into the details over the next few months on here and on videos too! Please let me know your thoughts and do share it with a friend who might benefit from hearing this.
Introducing the self-limiting triad
We spend our late teens and 20s aspiring to be something great. In order to achieve this, we continuously want more. So we seek to be more productive and find ways to acquire as many skills, as fast as possible.
In order to facilitate that, other people create content and services that will allegedly help us hack our productivity to learn more and be efficient with our time. These people make us believe that we could be as productive them.
And I’m not saying that they’re a bunch of liars. But at some point, I realized I was wasting my time.
It became clear that my shortcomings didn’t need external fixes, they needed very strong internal re-alignment. Only I could fix my issues with productivity and living more meaningfully. I really needed to declutter my mind.
With much reflective practice, I concluded that 95% of my issues came down to the constructs that form the self-limiting triad. And when I started working on them, I achieved more mental clarity and self-satisfaction.
I don’t expect this to be the case for all of you but I know that if you stopped allowing the self-limiting triad from holding you back, you’d achieve much more than any person or product can help you do.
Fear of rejection
Fear of rejection is an interesting construct to me and is the easiest of the 3 to overcome. If we don’t work on it, we will keep doubting ourselves and our abilities. We will never really achieve sustainable self-validation and truly understand how much value we have to others.
I’ve read a few books on getting over rejection and there is only one effective solution - getting rejected, over and over again. But the sauce is to engineer rejection at the start of this process. Go ask for things that you don’t really want. Get into the habit of asking for things and getting rejected. If you do get it, well, amazing! Eventually, you’ll get better at taking on rejection and will confidently ask for the things you really want.
Negative self-beliefs
This one’s a little tougher but at the end of the day, it’s a reversible habit. It’s something we’ve done for a long time and have decided to believe as reality. That’s fine, it is what it is.
But no, it’s not really fine, because it holds us back from going to get what we want and deserve. All of your beliefs don’t have to be true.
One major thing that hit me on some random day was that no one really cares about me the way I care about me. Everyone cares about themselves so why do I choose to torture myself?
It takes time, but you’ll realize that you can just have completely positive self-beliefs. It takes practice.
I found that the first step to reversing my negative self-beliefs was to focus on what I’m good at and using it to benefit others. Do that for a while and you’ll slowly get out of the habit of reverting to your negative self-beliefs.
Emotional insecurities
This one’s a very tough one, to be honest. We all have these insecurities to varying degrees. We hold on to past experiences that have created a turbulent filter in front of our senses. It’s not our fault that we have this but it is our responsibility to improve this filter.
The absolute first step to eradicating our insecurities is to be mindful of what they are and the types of situations that trigger them. Just remember that you can’t fix something you aren’t properly aware of. You need to know what’s going on in your mind before you can declutter it.
I won’t go further into this because my newsletter is turning into an essay. But I promise to tackle all of this properly throughout 2021.
The takeaway
Start being mindful of how these 3 concepts hold you back daily and you will gradually feel better to achieve much more.
If you have any thoughts or questions, do drop me an email to hello@arunjayaraj.com or a DM on my Instagram. And if you enjoyed this, do consider sharing this with someone else who might too!
About Me
My name is Arun and I'm a 4th-year medical student at King's College London. I'm also a certified personal trainer and fitness photographer.
Arun, too good to read and to have an Introspection. Really we have one of the above said three's concept which need to be vigorously erased.
Continue the subject which is much useful...
Thank you